I think I have reached the point where I have to say I overdid it. I’m over-trained, my body is shutting down on me… At this stage I’m able to run for about 45 – 50 minutes and not even at my fast pace. But then legs just… they just stop. Fatigue kicks in, cannot lift legs, strides are very short. Maybe the amount of strides is same but… being so short means covering less distance. Same distance but more time needed to finish run…
I think I’m done. Still have maybe 5 runs booked till the end of the year and that will be it. No more until the end of the season. Low, low, low…
Haven’t felt that in ages… honestly. Haven’t felt this way ever. Even at the beginning of the year when I thought that I was in a bad shape I wasn’t. Now I know that. Back then I was miserable or just little bit down. Now I’m really bad. Overtrained, overweight… Can’t run marathon even in 3:30… What the hell happened?
But, as you all know already, when there is marathon I follow. And here I was Saturday morning in Longwood. First time for me there. First time, so couldn’t miss it. Was that wise? Probably, definitely not. Should have given my legs a rest. Should stop running 20 km a day without bigger breakes. But again I have ignored my head and body. Yeeea, what could go wrong? Flat course… relatively. Or at least that’s what I thought. Was proven wrong at the end of the run. Maybe I wouldn’t have seen those humps if my fitness was OK but for now it wasn’t flat for me. Lately I have noticed that I’m starting run at full swing and after 10 – 16 km my fuel is gone and remaining distance is a constant struggle or even fight with tired body. For the last 3-4 marathons (including this one) I had so many thoughts about DNF. Was feeling really bad, that idea of stopping, jumping into car and just driving away was very tempting. Haven’t done that but so many times I was rally close to ‘throwing the towel ‘. This run wasn’t different.
Before the race I was feeling OK (unfortunately usual gut feeling bad race will be good, feeling good race will be bad wasn’t working any more). All thoughts focused on the run to finish in 3:30. Should be easy. Week before in Szczecin got small injury and ended up over 4 hours as a pacer but wasn’t counting that time. Previous runs on hilly courses in Dingle, Tyrone were ones were I was getting around 3:30. So, I couldn’t imagine that on a flatter course I would be struggling. But at the end of the day that was the case. But, lest’s start from the beginning. Sunny day, high number of runners. All because of couple distances you could run that morning. 10 km, half marathon, 20 miles and full marathon. I heard that it was biggest crowd to date recorded on the EOI marathon. After inspiring briefing talk by Rory Mooney and kind of ‘Fergie dryer’ from Ger we gathered at the starting line. Plan? Not really. Wanted to get 3:30. Started in pace 4:35 – 4:45 first 10 km. I know that for most of you that is probably jog but for me, especially now it is ‘light speed’. What happened after? You are guessing correctly. Fuel cut off. Not even fumes left. Run with strong will not legs – literally just moving 2 mm above the ground. No speed in them. Why I run again so fast at beginning of the race? Don’t know. All I know is that I had to pay for that stupid idea by feeling big, big, big pain. Really I had to look bad if Andrew offered to give me bottle of Lucozade when passing me by. On each of the 6 loops remaining after initial first 13 km I was just thinking about how slow I’m running and how easy would be to just walk away from that race. Haven’t done that. Maybe my head is stronger than I thought initially. On lap number 7 I even walked, was really exhausted. Seamus helped me with small Mars bar and Redbull. Sugar into blood. That did the trick but just for about 10 minutes. Anyways, have finished my jog in 3:47. Mentally struggled. So, just packed my assignment into car and drove back home.
Why it is going from bad to worst for me? Weight, heavy legs, no rest, head… These were my thoughts on the way back home. Couldn’t relax knowing that following weekend I was suppose to pace Galway Bay marathon. Will I last, will I keep my pace… steady pace? Questions, questions, questions. Just relax… That is what I need now.
For love of God – STOP
